Parents Support
Are you looking for help with your young person? We are here for you. Do you fear your child has started to take drugs?
The River of Resilience
Tracy
Empowering and preparing Parents, Grandparents and Families
Resilience: The ability to recover quickly from illness, change or misfortune, buoyancy. You can be resilient too.
Guideposts for your life, your future
“Did you know”?
“Marijuana will lead you and your family down the pit of hell and if you are lucky enough to get out the other side in one piece, you and your family’s whole life will be shattered, and it will take a long time to put back together”. Tracy, mother of Wes.
There are three words I would like to talk about as in my opinion they are the most dangerous words and should be avoided at all costs when parenting children.
An important message from Tracy, mother of Wes
YOU MAY THINK OF IT THIS WAY
The dictionary says that it’s a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen without proof.
As a parent we assume that if we give our children everything they need while they are growing up, like lots of love and emotional support, stable home environment, good schools, good food and good moral teaching, that they will make good choices from that stability that you have tried to create.
We also assume that the world out there is going to give them the same message when it comes to risk, core values and the things we know will hurt them.
BUT THINK OF IT THIS WAY…
Once your children leave the four walls of your house they are being preyed upon and deceived and lied to and told exactly the opposite of what you have instilled in them.
The first lie that they are told is that
“your parents are idiots, and they know nothing”.
That one-liner erodes all parents’ best efforts.
Then they are told how good marijuana is and how everyone is doing it, and everyone is fine, and it is ‘recreational’ and they can get off it anytime they like. Their own friends are the ones selling the lies to them.
“Look I am fine, and I am on it! It’s fun!”
I ask parents one simple question, what messages are your children receiving from their school and from society in general?
Do you know who is educating your children and what they are telling them?
Don’t assume; find out and act on the information.
Make sure they are being taught that drugs kill you and not the message out there that is going around that they can use drugs, just use them “safely”. There is no such thing as using drugs safely that is an oxymoron. Drugs are deadly, including marijuana.
From my perspective the schools are saying
“Well all the kids are going to try it anyway”,
which gives a permissive vocabulary that our children pick up on which further encourages them to give it a go!
The language spoken regarding drugs needs to be changed drastically for our kids to have a fighting chance to stand against it.
YOU MAY THINK OF IT THIS WAY
The dictionary says an idea that is taken to be true on the basis of probability.
So on the basis of probability that odd behaviour that I am seeing in my child of slowly withdrawing from the family, disconnection, less and less communication, wearing hoodies all the time and the stony-eyed stare is probably hormonal, they are transitioning into adult hood and are moody. On the basis of probability, my good teaching and loving parenting means that they will overcome their hormones and resist temptation and eventually grow into the stable adults, we have tried so hard to create.
BUT THINK OF IT THIS WAY…
Marijuana will do this to your child and more and by the time you find out that it’s not hormones or teenage moodiness, it’s too late.
I felt like I had been hit by a freight train when I realised that we were dealing with something much more serious than I thought. And by the time I realised this, it was TOO LATE, he was already severely addicted.
This drug stole seven years of our lives.
It starts out INSIDIOUSLY, meaning proceeding in a gradual way, but with very harmful effects. Then, like a parasite, it will slowly but surely suck the life and joy out of its victim and their family.
I read about the boiling frog fable describing a frog being slowly boiled alive. The premise being that if the frog is put suddenly into boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is put into tepid water which is then slowly brought to the boil, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death.
Marijuana works exactly like that and will have the same effect on your children.
By the time I realised that my son had a problem, it was at the point of life or death for him.
The dictionary says: The way in which something is regarded, understood or interpreted.
YOU MAY THINK OF IT THIS WAY
As a parent never perceive anything is a certain way!
I perceived that they had enough good groundwork and foundations and would be fine, as they were intelligent and well-educated. I interpreted their change of character as puberty.
I believe this is how the scourge of marijuana infiltrated and masked over and deceived all my motherly instincts, because it comes in at the same time as puberty and in the beginning insidiously mimics the behaviour of hormonal ups and downs.
BUT THINK OF IT THIS WAY…
Looking back where there is smoke there is fire. Don’t be deceived by the teenage hormones message.
As soon as you start seeing hoodies, shifty, stony eyes, disconnection, lack of communication, and of course visine eye drops (to hide the red eyes), then you need to be on high alert and get some help as soon as possible.
They will always deny it and will always lie to you to keep you from finding out, but eventually you will find evidence.
The other wrong perception that we have as parents is that the rest of our society will give our children the same message.
But it seems that I was horribly wrong about that too.
The general consensus is, use drugs safely, but just don’t die.
There are little or no drug education messages getting out to the children and marijuana use seems to have become embedded in their culture.
They are being deceived and made to feel that it is a safe, ‘recreational’ pastime that will make them “forget about their worries and their strife” as the song says.
As parents we are going to have to change this damaging message and to make our voices heard that we have had enough of the wishy washy message that our children are getting and that it needs to change.
We are tired of our children’s lives being endangered by this deception and we want to make sure the truth is announced and pronounced very loudly, otherwise more of our precious children will be deceived and lied to and preyed upon, because they are naive and impressionable and want to fit in with the popular culture.
