What was the trigger/s? (What was happening in your world at the time? Who were the people around you? fun, pain, peer pressure etc)
At the time of my drug use my mother had died aged 4, two weeks later my dad put us into a foster home and hell started, coming out of home I was 8, he remarried only for that to last three years and I came home one day thought we were robbed as our stepmum packed up and left, from then my father wasn’t around and there was a tremendous amount of peer pressure from my sisters friends who were all smoking dope every morning.
What, if any, warning signs or prompts did you get and ignored when you started? What lead you to ignoring the warnings?
No warning signs for me unfortunately, as there was no parental guidance in the house
What have you lost as the result of your drug use?
Besides 14 years of my life from 11 to 25, I guess you just don’t know but as someone who is highly intelligent, athletically gifted and as a junior a promising footballer who knows what I could of accomplished
What have you learnt?
Drugs respect no one, demands everything, takes everything, destroys everything, you may think its only occasional whatever it is you are taking and that’s the subtle lie of drugs before you know it 10 years has gone by and you could have bought a house, your circle of friends has shrunk the friends you do have really aren’t your friends, wait until the cops come knocking or someone dies….drugs attract drug users and that’s it, everyone out for themselves.
Why don’t you go back?
As someone who has spent thousands of dollars in counselling to understand the triggers of my drug taking all being emotionally dysfunctional and broken home related amongst other things, I’m married to an amazing wife 5 gorgeous children and most importantly I know who I am, when you search for your soul in a silver spoon you will never find an answer but a feeling. If you actually took the time to recognise what you are actually seeking can only be found in who you are then that silver spoon will become irrelevant, all the hard work of attending a rehab, focusing on getting myself right, learning to dream and think what a future looked like the for the first time was terrifying, but far less terrifying than living with no hope and no dreams.
After 20 years now I could never go back, living on the streets, squatting, living in the lies, living in fear of being raided, seeing friends die from overdoses, people being murdered, families and communities been torn apart by psychotic, paranoia episodes.
Finish this sentence: I wish I never…
Ever see Drugs again as long as I live.
Signed C.R.
